In my last blog I addressed some of the faults that I saw in men. This blog is now going to address some of the flaws I see in some women. Honestly I don’t know where to begin because women are such complicated creatures that one cannot even begin to understand why we do certain things and I am a woman. I realize that we thrive on emotions and every decision we make is based upon how we feel and as a result different situations affect our behavior drastically (Ok so not drastically but there is a significant affect). I understand that many women have been brought up in different environments and that not every woman is as strong and confident as she should be. This particular blog is directed to females who KNOW better and were taught how to be confident, strong and successful. This is directed to girls who have influential women in their lives, be it friends or family members, who are real WOMEN: strong; confident; classy; educated; etc, and choose to stray from the advice that these women may give them.
Women, Why on earth would you allow a man to mistreat you when you know you deserve better? Why would you EVER let a man set a double standard for you and you just go along with it? I mean I’m very sure you have friends who tell you that this guys isn’t right for you and they present logical explanations why, so then why would you stay with this guy? I mean are you unaware that there are other guys out there in this world who will treat you like the queen that you are? Are you unaware that there is a man out there who will love you unconditionally and never put his hands on you or call you out of your name EVER? These men, believe it or not DO exist. A man who will love you and all your flaws; a man who will encourage you to follow your dreams and not bring you down; a man who will be your rock when you need him to be; a man who will be your knight in shining armor; that man exists in his own form for every woman. I say to you my sisters, mothers and friends, do not accept the reckless behavior of uneducated boys. Stand up for yourself. I’m not saying for you to set impossible standards but reasonable ones. Don’t take a man’s behavior as “oh it’s just a guy thing”. BULL FUCKING SHIT!!! There is no such thing. Guys only do certain things because we allow them to do it. If you make it known in the beginning what you will take and what you won’t (subtly of course), I can promise you that what you had in your past relationships will not repeat itself. A few of my male friends told me that a lot of the decisions men make are based on the actions of women. If you respect yourself and you walk through your life demanding respect with your level of education, swag, and presence then NO man will ever try to treat you wrong. And listen to your friends please when they give you reasonable advice. I know there are those friends who are just haters but if you take a second to really think about what your friends tell you I’m sure someone will give you reasonable advice. A couple reasons that I have heard, for women to tolerate such primitive behavior is because they need the man or they love him. First of all, no woman NEEDS a man. We only want them because of the way they make us feel and the companionship. Learning to stand alone is part of being a strong woman. When you can stand on your own two feet without a man to depend upon, in a relationship you won’t be so dependent on him. Secondly, Love is a beautiful thing, however it can be very blinding if you allow it to be. The love of a man is something that is hard to acquire in a lot of relationships. Many men don’t love easily because that’s just their nature but when they really love you, they really LOVE you. When a guy loves you, You can tell. He might do things that are out of the ordinary and surprise you and make you smile. A man who loves you will NEVER put his hands on you EVER!!! Don’t let anyone tell you any different. Nor will he ever call you out of your name, even if y’all are arguing. If a man ever does that then either he has a problem that needs to be fixed ASAP or you are allowing him or he’s just a jerk and you need to exit now ( don’t collect $200 or pass go) You just need to get out.
We, women, have many faults but this is a fault that I've seen which is ever so present in, not just in Western societies but also in third world countries where women are born into submissive positions. Women everywhere should not allow any behavior of this kind to happen. I believe that if we allow ourselves to remain in this position and not renew our self esteem and pride, we perpetuate the primitive and classless behavior of some men.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Men....
There are many things that I will never understand about men and their behavior. I know that men grow up and different environments and have different experiences that shape their behavior. As a result I know that not all men behave in the same manner. This particular blog is directed to the few men who have "difficulties" in relationships; the men who allow the bad things in their past to shape how they express themselves towards women. In my short years of living, I have learned a lot about how men act towards certain things and how their behavior is "in general".I accredit this to my experiences and the experiences of my older friends. One thing I don't understand is why would you allow your past experiences make you cold and make you build up barriers around your heart and feelings especially towards a woman who had opened herself to you and humbled herself down to show you that you can trust her? Why would u continue to hold back? In a past relationship I encountered a young man whose reactions to certain things, in my opinion, were not "normal". When I asked him to stop a behavior that was hindering our relationship and plainly was either annoying or disrespectful to me he would say well "That's just how I am and I'm not gonna change." And when I would ask if he was put in the same situation would it not bother him, his response was "Nope. It wouldn't." I don't think that is a "normal" response because someone who had "normal" reactions would care about how the problem was affecting me and at least try to change or offer a better solution than just stopping completely. If it was truly upsetting to me, he should be willing to stop completely because that is how a relationship works. It's give-and-take. I compromise and change some things and you do the same. That is how people in a relationship grow and flourish and find deep, true love....
If you know that you have no intention on being in a committed relationship with a young woman, why would u string her along and then tell her u need a "break" and offer that you never really wanted a girlfriend in the first place? That is a situation that frustrates me to the core of my being. I believe I can speak for all women when I say, Make your intentions known at the beginning of the relationship. If you know you don't want anything serious, let her know that. If you are interested in something serious but you get scared somewhere along the way, TELL HER!!! Don't leave her hanging and just break it off with some lame excuse because you are afraid. We, women, are all about emotions and feelings and the expression of such things whether we admit to it or not. We like to know what is going on in your heart and head. We also like to know that we are both on the same page as far as the relationship goes....
Speaking of a "BREAK". What in the world is a BREAK? In my opinion, a break is ONLY reserved for couples that have gone through it all. Couples who are in the worst part of their relationships and it seems like a break is the only possible answer. All other relationships don't need breaks. If your relationship is going well and you're both getting along, you don not need a break if you decide to get serious. You can take it slowly and have a conversation about both party's feelings. I PROMISE you that taking a break will NEVER show you if you miss someone. It will only tear you apart because if you didn't know, there is always someone out there looking to take your woman. Another man is watching you and hoping you will make a mistake to make room for him to step in....
That brings me to another point. Like I said, men, there is always another man looking for you to mess up. If you have a woman who is trying as hard as she can to be good to you, cooking; cleaning; changing little things about themselves for you, and you treat her with cold emotions and do whatever you want hoping she will just take it as "just men behaving like men", another man will come along and treat her the way you are not and say the things you should be saying to her. Moreover, her friends will talk things in her ear and encourage her to leave you for this "other" man. You know how some friends are. If they don't like you from the beginning they will jump at the chance to get rid of you when the opportunity comes.
This is just a few of the many things that I see wrong in relationships. I am NOT saying that women are not also part of the issue. This blog is just talking about some points from a woman's perspective.
If you know that you have no intention on being in a committed relationship with a young woman, why would u string her along and then tell her u need a "break" and offer that you never really wanted a girlfriend in the first place? That is a situation that frustrates me to the core of my being. I believe I can speak for all women when I say, Make your intentions known at the beginning of the relationship. If you know you don't want anything serious, let her know that. If you are interested in something serious but you get scared somewhere along the way, TELL HER!!! Don't leave her hanging and just break it off with some lame excuse because you are afraid. We, women, are all about emotions and feelings and the expression of such things whether we admit to it or not. We like to know what is going on in your heart and head. We also like to know that we are both on the same page as far as the relationship goes....
Speaking of a "BREAK". What in the world is a BREAK? In my opinion, a break is ONLY reserved for couples that have gone through it all. Couples who are in the worst part of their relationships and it seems like a break is the only possible answer. All other relationships don't need breaks. If your relationship is going well and you're both getting along, you don not need a break if you decide to get serious. You can take it slowly and have a conversation about both party's feelings. I PROMISE you that taking a break will NEVER show you if you miss someone. It will only tear you apart because if you didn't know, there is always someone out there looking to take your woman. Another man is watching you and hoping you will make a mistake to make room for him to step in....
That brings me to another point. Like I said, men, there is always another man looking for you to mess up. If you have a woman who is trying as hard as she can to be good to you, cooking; cleaning; changing little things about themselves for you, and you treat her with cold emotions and do whatever you want hoping she will just take it as "just men behaving like men", another man will come along and treat her the way you are not and say the things you should be saying to her. Moreover, her friends will talk things in her ear and encourage her to leave you for this "other" man. You know how some friends are. If they don't like you from the beginning they will jump at the chance to get rid of you when the opportunity comes.
This is just a few of the many things that I see wrong in relationships. I am NOT saying that women are not also part of the issue. This blog is just talking about some points from a woman's perspective.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)